Friday, November 02, 2012


It’s been a rough few months on my end physically. As many of you are aware, I have been suffering from chronic jaw pain due to TMJ and migraines for years. When you are physically feeling so rotten, it begins to wear on you emotionally and spiritually. When you can’t even care for your own children and you have to rely on your husband and friends to take care of them, the guilt sets in. When you are consistently needing to take time off of work because you can’t even see straight and you are sick to your stomach? It is a horrible, vicious cycle and I just want out of it! But alas! There is hope! Even on those days when I am feeling as low as I do, I still have hope. A bright and shining hope of healing. During Sunday’s sermon I was brought to tears when Pastor Matt was preaching about our prayer lives and how God answers prayer. Some of us pray for financial stability, relationships, health, jobs, etc. and sometimes we feel as though those prayers aren't being answered. but, God answers every prayer, maybe just now how we want our prayers answered. His answers to our prayers are either “Yes”, “No”, or “Wait”. And that last one is tricky and sometimes extremely difficult….but he explained it very clearly and my eyes were finally opened. In my case, I have earnestly been praying for healing. And I will be healed, it’s just a matter of when. I might be healed on this side of Heaven, or I might just have to wait until I am joined with Him in eternity. And that is my hope. That even if I am not healed on this side of Heaven, I will eventually be healed by His mighty hands. When I finally reach that place where “He will wipe every tear from my eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.” Because “all of those things are gone forever." AMEN and halleluiah! Oh how I long for that day – for so many of us. “While I’m waiting, I will worship.” So today, I wait. I wait for the day when we are all healed….from headaches, infertility, back pain, cancer. When we are all healed from bitterness, unforgiveness, abuse, addictions. The day is coming, but until then, we wait with joyful hope. 

Last week we had our very first Parent-Teacher conferences with Nora’s preschool teacher, Mrs. Kruse and let me tell you, pride may be considered a sin, but I was never more proud of our daughter than I was that night. Yes, I am a sinner! We were told how considerate, respectful, obedient and kind Nora is. We were told she is intellectually above and beyond the norm for her age. We were told that she prays every prayer and is very attentive during chapel and very much enjoys going to chapel. Her report stated that "Nora writes the word 'Mom' in her journal." and Mrs. Kruse showed her journal to us with "Mom" written in it several times. I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up a little. My baby girl still thinks about me even when I’m not there. All of these things I have prayed for her and those prayers are being answered. My how good God has been to us! (And yes, this is my "mom moment" to brag about my kids...because I can!) 

Archer is in the “trying three’s” stage right now. Anything and everything with him is met with resistance. He is definitely blazing his own trail and finding his way! And yet, even when he is so stinkin’ grouchy, I can’t help but just love him and the age he is at right now. He is so much fun and his innocence is so pure. He doesn’t care if people see him hugging and kissing his mom - in fact he gets upset if I DON'T give him a hug. I dread the day when my kids become “too cool” to be seen showing their old mom any kind of affection. I am just soaking these young days with the kids up while I can because time is slipping out from under me entirely too quickly. 

And with that, I leave one final thought. Now that it’s November and it’s a month of gratitude and thanksgiving (which should be EVERY month), I just want to make it clear how grateful I am for changed hearts. Because had God not chiseled away at Jed or myself, I fear for the darkness that my family would be in right now. I humbly thank you Lord for your favor shown to my beautiful little family. What are you thankful for today?