Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Christian Retreat Weekend

Friday evening through Sunday evening I had the privilege of experiencing my very first Christian Retreat Weekend (CRW) at the Shalom Retreat Center through Hope Church.  A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.  I can't say a whole lot about it in this post because Jed is attending the men's retreat the first weekend in March and I don't want to spoil the surprises as it will be his very first CRW too!  However, I will say that I made phenomenal new friendships that are sure to last a lifetime.  The power of the Truth and the absolute rawness (nakedness! ha!) of some of these women's testimonies is utterly indescribable.  There is such beautiful healing in the sharing of your pain - the purging of your "baggage" and "junk".  Such a freedom in being the self that God created you to be.  "God doesn't make junk". 

When I got home Sunday night, I was greeted with two very happy children.  I've never gotten so many hugs from my 17-month old before!  I think he just might have missed me :-)  And I usually like my time away to decompress, but for some reason, I really missed my kids this weekend.  Nora has become my little buddy, my little partner in crime, my mini-me.  It's been fun to have her help clean (yay, free cleaning service!), bake and just be a more responsible 3-year old in general.  She is getting to the point of wanting to please us more and more rather than push our buttons to see how far she can push us!  It. Is. Awesome.  Oh, but don't misinterpret.  She still has her meltdown moments.  They are just fewer and farther apart.

Poor Archer has been battling cold and allergy symptoms for a few months now, and I found lumps on his neck and the back of his head.  His pediatrician says that they are swollen lymph nodes (which means he has an infection of some sort), but they just don't know what.  All of the tests came back negative, so we are basically just watching him closely and monitoring him.  Please lift him in prayer that he begins feeling better SOON.

I am still struggling with many unanswered questions of Junior's death and the aftermath of that horrific tragedy.  Starting the night after his funeral, I began to have nightmares.  Mostly of not being able to get to him (or someone else close to me) in time and having to watch them suffer and die. The guilt of not being able to help them and the lack of control I have in the situation is overwhelming.  I think once I am to the acceptance stage of my grief that the nightmares will stop, but I'm just not there yet.  And I think it's going to be awhile yet.  But I am so incredibly blessed with caring and compassionate people in my life to help me through this dark valley.

Overall, very busy winter/spring.  I am very happy that I decided to do the Girlfriend's Upgrade Bible study at church.  It has forced me to be more disciplined in my Bible studies.  It also doesn't hurt that I've made some wonderful and beautiful new friends either! My heart is overflowing!!!

Lead me to the cross 
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, Lead me to the cross

1 comment:

  1. Becky, you make me realize the need to stop and take in life and allow God to take control. You are a real inspiration. Lots of love.